


You Found Me

by Fangirl_on_fire



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, One Shot, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Songfic, steve regrets civil war, tony can't handle it anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 02:45:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11773866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_on_fire/pseuds/Fangirl_on_fire
Summary: After the Civil War, Steve goes to reconcile with Tony.But that's not possible anymore.*songfic: You found me, the Fray*- Lost and insecureYou found me, you found me -





	You Found Me

_I found God_    
 _On the corner of First and Amistad_    
 _Where the west_    
 _Was all but won_

It had been almost a year since Steve had fought with Tony in Siberia, and things were mostly back to normal for him. Well, as normal as they could be for someone who was actively being hunted by the government, and someone who had to leave his home country and most of his friends to go live in a country that he had never even seen before. He knew his situation was better than Tony's, though. 

Tony had lost his girlfriend and all his friends, and the one friend he still had was left paralyzed due to a hit from Tony's own teammate. He had lost the support of the citizens of the world, as most people seemed to have gravitated over to Steve's side, as they always seemed to. 

But Tony had never really had anything, anyway. Because the moment he got close to someone, the moment he let his guard down and allowed himself to trust someone, they betrayed him. Obadiah Stane, Gialetta. And now the Avengers. Because Steve knew that Tony had thought that the Avengers were the first people that he could truly trust, the first people who he could call his family, the first people who would have his back no matter what. 

And they had betrayed him, too. 

And _we_ had betrayed him, Steve thought bitterly. Tony had been making so much progress, too. He had given up alcohol, he had given up his playboy days, and he was genuinely making efforts to become a better person. The last Steve had heard of Tony, Tony had taken Peter Parker under his wing and had begun mentoring him. 

That's why Steve was currently on his way to Tony's mansion, to try and make up with him and maybe even compromise on a new draft of the accords. 

_All alone_    
 _Smoking his last cigarette_    
 _I said, "Where you been?"_    
 _He said, "Ask anything."_

But that wasn't the only reason. 

Steve missed Tony, missed how they would squish up together on the sofa for movie night, how Tony would stagger into the kitchen in the mornings, mumbling about coffee, how Tony's eyes would crinkle whenever he laughed at one of Steve's stupid jokes. 

Steve missed Tony, missed how they would always go out for burgers, how Steve would sit for hours in Tony's workshop, sketching him as he worked on yet another amazing invention. 

Steve missed Tony, and he hoped Tony missed him too, because Steve had fallen in love with him somewhere along the way, and any hopes he had of a relationship, even when Tony was still dating Pepper, were crushed when the accords came along and Tony started beating himself up with guilt over Sokovia. But that was what Tony always did. He always beat himself up over everything, even if he couldn't have prevented it, even if it wasn't his fault. 

And without Tony, Steve was lonely. 

He had Natasha, but she was always distant nowadays. Sometimes Steve wondered if she regretted her choice. 

He had Clint, but once he had walked in on Clint staring at a photo of his children, and a huge wave of guilt had hit him. Because Clint had chosen Steve, he was now in Wakanda, hundreds of miles away from his family, from his children and his wife. 

He had Sam. 

He had Scott. 

He had Wanda. 

But they weren't the same as Tony. 

_Where were you_    
 _When everything was falling apart?_    
_All my days_    
 _Were spent by the telephone_

They didn't make him laugh like Tony did. 

They didn't show up with two art museum tickets, grinning and ignoring Steve's protests about the price because "I'm a billionaire, cap, I could buy the whole museum and it wouldn't make a dent in my bank account, so shut up and let me take you there". 

They didn't wake Steve up in the middle of the night because "Steve, get up, I want to have a Firefly marathon!" 

They didn't make stupid jokes that Steve most definitely shouldn't have laughed at. 

They didn't wake up at 5 am to go with Steve on his daily morning run, huffing and complaining the whole time, but coming anyway.

They didn't defend Steve in every single interview that a reporter badmouthed him in, ignoring the PR team whenever they hissed "that's bad press, Tony, you need to be amicable!" 

They didn't roll their eyes whenever someone used a word like 'amicable' and say "what is this, a literary convention?", even though they used longer words on a daily basis. 

They weren't Tony.

And Steve wished so badly that Tony had picked up the phone with his usual "you know who I am".  

_That never rang_    
 _And all I needed was a call_    
 _That never came_    
 _To the corner of First and Amistad_

Steve needed Tony more than anything, and that was why he stepped off the subway and walked two kilometers to Tony's mansion. Tony had since moved out of Stark tower. He never offered any reason to the public, Steve was pretty sure it was because the nostalgia was too much for him. 

When Steve finally reached the tall, wooden doors, he wasn't sure what to do. When he tried the doorknob, he found out that it was knocked, but when he looked up, he saw that a window was open. Sighing, he looked around for the fire escape. However, in typical Tony fashion, there was no fire escape, so Steve resigned himself to the fact that he would have to climb up a wall without any footholds whatsoever. 

Luckily, the window wasn't too high up, so Steve was able to jump up, get a grip on the door frame, and use that to swing himself up to the windowsill. Steve ducked down underneath the window shutter and climbed in. 

"Tony?" He called uncertainly. "Tony?" 

There was no answer. 

"Tony?" 

A bad feeling settled in his gut. 

With a slightly more panicked "Tony? Are you there?" He threw open the door of the bedroom he had climbed into, and rushed down the long corridor. He looked into every room he saw, but Tony was in none of them, so Steve found the stairs and ran downstairs. He burst into the kitchen, and was about to go check another room, when he realized that he should check for any bottles in the cupboards. 

So he opened every single cupboard, going through each and every one carefully to make sure he didn't miss anything. 

The bad feeling in his gut grew stronger when he found a couple of whiskey bottles in the top cupboard.

_Lost and insecure_    
 _You found me, you found me_

"Tony!" He called out in fear, running to the nearest room and checking inside it. 

Tony wasn't there. 

"Tony!" His voice was desperate now, as he rushed through the ground floor, throwing open every door and barely sparing a second to stick his head in each one. 

Finally, when he ran into the first bathroom along the corridor, he found Tony. 

_Lyin_ _' on the floor_    
 _Surrounded, surrounded_

Tony was lying on the ground, an empty bottle in his hand. Around him were shattered shards of brown glass, and lots of bottles, every single one empty. 

"Tony!" He screamed, dropping down to his knees and grasping Tony's wrist hard enough to leave bruises, checking for a pulse. 

There was no pulse. 

"Tony!" He was sobbing now as he yanked the bottle from Tony's stiff fingers and throwing it against the wall, where it shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. "Tony! Can you hear me?" 

He bent down and pressed his mouth against Tony's, breathing air into his lungs while starting chest compressions. 

Tony didn't respond. 

Steve frantically scrabbled in his own pocket, then Tony's, for a phone to call 911 but he couldn't find one. 

"Tony!" He sobbed when he finally collapsed on Tony's body. It was only then that he realized how cold and rigid Tony's body was, and how pale he was. "Please don't be gone, please don't leave me" He hugged Tony hard, and cried even harder when there was no response. "I love you, Tony Stark, I love you, please don't leave me"

_Why'd you have to wait?_    
 _Where were you? Where were you?_

"I'm so sorry!" Steve drew a shuddering breath, and pulled himself up to kiss Tony hard. "I'm so sorry, Tony, I'm so sorry I waited for so long, I'm so sorry I was too focused on myself to see how much you needed me, I'm so sorry I didn't say I loved you. God, Tony, I love you so much, please don't leave me, please don't leave me" 

His tears dripped onto Tony's face, but there was no change whatsoever. 

Steve cried harder and kissed him again, but there was no change whatsoever. 

He was still clutching Tony, but there was no change whatsoever. 

Tony was gone. 

Tony was dead. 

And Steve screamed into the empty air. 

_Just a little late_    
 _You found me, you found me_    


**Author's Note:**

> ..sorry..


End file.
